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How do i keep daughters friend away whos bad influence?

my daughter is 7 the girl directly across the street is almost 11. past few years they have been friends; i have ALWAYS had that gut feeling {motherly instinct?} shes not a good girl. acts very kind & sweeet when shes in my home. different story if they go swimming together; sidewalk chalking together; etc. my daughter said she told her there is no santa long ago;"its all your parents" quote on quote. my husband had a talk with her & nicley explained our daughter is 7; that she is older; & please do not say those things or they cannot play together anymore. she agreed. i recently found out as they took a walk together this girl has recently lied to my face twice; texts her "boyfriend?" as their walking.i decided to not let them play together anymore; told my daughter shes simply too much older.my daughter said why are you trying to take my friends away? i said im not; only the bad influences". not even 2 weeks passed by and she is knocking on my door to see samantha {my kid}.i dont want to be a mean witch; but god parents; what else can i do/say; and still keep the peace?? its so hard cuz as i said she lives right across from us.any advice is so much needed!! please moms; give me your thoughts.just dont want my daughter growing up to fast; my god; what parent does?? she has plenty of other friends ; i dont need this girl coming around any longer!

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I fail to see how what you describe makes the older girl a "bad" influence. Furthermore, the more you try to forbid your daughter from seeing her friend, the more she's going to want to. Here is what I propose, instead:

First, their time together must be spent in your home, where you can keep an eye (and an ear) on them. Next, if you really are intent upon separating the girls and ending their friendship, then you must take steps to help that happen naturally, such as filling your daughter's schedule with other friends and activities, instead.

Less time together will mean the girls will gradually grow apart and have less interest in spending time with each other; that accomplishes what you want without labeling the older girl as a "bad" child.

And at ten years old, I seriously doubt that she's really a "bad influence" on your daughter. Please reread your question and think about the negative attitude you have towards this child. Unless you've left out a lot, none of what you describe is anything other than the differences in maturity and development between your daughter and her older friend. Stop and think about the messages you're sending to both children before you do permanent damage to one or both of them, please.

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ YeddaHeads

thank you for your answer and advice. i could give 20 examples of how this girl {who i have known for years} is a bad influence but i wont waste the readers time. i myself know the examples. my daughter knows how far she can talk a walk to; what house to turn around & come home at; when this other girl convinves her its okay to go to the end of the block; {out of eye-sight} KNOWING my daughter is not allowed;  because the girl who lives there is her cousin; sorry; but i made the rules clear. for her to try to pursway my daughter to do what she knows is NOT ALLOWED is wrong; plain and simple. would you call that a good example? this girl as i said has given me MANY MORE reasons to not trust her; excuse me for being so blunt but i recognize a bad apple when i see one. it is the girls parents fault; because they give her way too much freedom. it always starts with the parents; i know that; home life. if you had a young daughter you may be able to see where im coming from; but im assuming you dont from your comment.i do set up plenty of playdates for her other friends; as you suggested; and even so when someone is here; she still tries to come over & work her way in.thanks for your comment; its appreciated. i would like other commenters from other moms who may be more "on the same page"; no disrespect. thanks for writing.

Janelle , Have you talked to your Daughter about disobeying you . She knows what the rules are and knows when she is breaking them . I have no children however I was one . There was a girl in my neighborhood about the same ages of your situation . I was held responsible by my parents to follow the rules and when I broke them I was punished . I can honestly say I was told I was no longer allowed to have her as a friend because I disobeyed my parents when I was with her . That was the final word which was followed by me and enforced by my parents . It's a hard situation but you need to do what is best for your daughter .

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First off, talk to your daughter! Find out what she enjoys about the "friendship". What is she getting with this girl that she isn't getting elsewhere? Then discuss your concerns with her. I agree that just outright forbidding the relationship is going to cause resentment and communication issues between you and your daughter.
As a Girl Scout leader for several different level troops; (ages 7-12) I have to agree that finding things to fill the schedule with is the best way to go in separating the girls. I have to ask also, what is it about this other girl that you consider a bad influence? Is it just the age difference; because that in and of itself shouldn't really cause a problem. Yes, 7-11 year olds have different understandings of the same subjects at times, but they can also have a healthy influence on each other too.
Also, is talking to this girl's parents out of the question? Discuss with them what your concerns are. They may not even realize what is going on that you are concerned about. Why not even try to get the families together for a BBQ at your place. You could invite some of your other friends and some of your daughter's friends too. Once you feel the situation out you might discover that it isn't as bad as it seems or that you can find another way out of things.
If however, things are truly that bad, then gradually finding things to do to take up your daughter's time is probably the easiest way. (Girl Scouts is a great place to start.) Smile

hi cyndie; its intresting you said to ask her what she enjoys about this friendship; im going to work on a way of finding that out. one example i just found out YESTERDAY was that my daughter said "mayas {older girl} parents asked her if i still believed in santa or not" i said what do you mean; she said her mom  & dad said there isnt really a santa all the stuff comes from your mom and dad" these parents said this RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY KID! whats wrong with people?? i know my daughters coming near the end of believing; on her own just from things shes heard in school; etc; but my only comment to that was "i dont know why they would say something like that. thats a shame". it was all i could think of to say. right now my daughter has a friend staying the night; her own age; and i am so happy; also; your suggestion about having them here for a barbecue; etc; we have had the parents here with their daughter; last year for 4th of july fireworks. we all got along just fine; its truly just a family i would rather not converse with. im a person who can get along with just about anyone; my gut just tells me that;  & i cant shake the feeling .thank you for your comments; they have been helpfull; very. thanks again:)

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