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Child custody for heroine addicts (active)or lapse every month or so

my graiendaughters(4)mother is a heroin addict as is her partner they also have in their care is a baby boy (10mths)is this legal my son is at this moment trying 2 get custody of his child the oldest child but where does this leave the baby the living arr are very bad.the child was taken from the mother 1 yr ago this is pending court accion .the mother sees the child (supervised)but sometimes brakes this order my son visits his daughter ev week-end without fail buys everything she needs and can give the child a better life we would like to know where we stand legally thank-you for your help

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Legal?? No way, I'm shocked that she has not been arrested for breaking the court order for supervised visits. And how in the world can she and her partner still have a 10 mo. old child in their custody? The Prosecutor, needs to be advised of the situation ASAP. If the child is in a facility, not foster care, this should also be investigated. The mother is in contempt of a court order. Your son should seek legal advice, to file a petition for complete custody, and seek to obtain a restraining order preventing the mother to have any contact with any of the children. What is Child protective Services position in this? If your son has no previous arrests, or drug charges, he may have a good chance at custody...there are a lot of Legal Aid Offices that can offer advice...Good Luck to you and your son!! Pray for those children.......God Bless!!!


Thank-you for your reply but,this has benn done 3-4 times my son took her back to court for this and still nothing was done ,now she seems to think that if she goes into re-hab she might have a chance of getting the child back. the law is shocking ,social services have been very good regarding the case on my sons behalf ,now this final court case is going to cost my son £3000.00 plus for a lawyer as he had been representing himself and very good job he has done but he has been advised that he needs a lawyer for this final hearing all this for trying to protect his own child .My grandchild could end up dead if my son done nothing, and i might add she is claiming every thing from the goverment she can get ,the partner works full time unknown to the dhss and she also shoplifts plus claiming legal aid ,it makes you smile eh anyway thanks again .(sorry for going on )

O.K. I understand now...you must contact all avenues of public exposure about this invetigative news coverage,newspapaers, talk shows...While she wants to sit in rehab...what happened to Methedone clinics while the courts go on and on...your son spending and defending .....the word needs to get out...Talk show (Nancy Grace) (Dr. Phil) Investigative reporting...Private investigator...consider the children across the nation right now in the sane circumstances....pass out flyers about the case...AND anything that will put the spotlight on the right thing...the Godly thing.. Maybe an Attorney will take the case on a Pro Bono..DON'T STOP!!! DON'T GIVE UP!!!! START GETTING EVIDENCE ON HER AND HER PARTNER.....ASAP!!


Does your son still have sympathy for this ex-girl? The court may "hear" of her breaking the court order but why did he not call police and have her arrested?...or go before the civil court and receive an order of protection for he and the child immediately?

Social Services must be on your son's side from the way you talk? If this is the case your son will probably come out fine. Why is there a question of where the child remains ? If the child is removed from Mom the child is usually always placed with the father or ...has your son the same type of issues with abuse, neglect of this child until recent, problems with drugs or alcohol himself?   Yes, it is hard to conceive for those who have cared well for their children , that an offending  parent , abusive or neglectful (often an addicted parent) always has a chance to treat the issue that had the child removed , however , if there is another available and decent parent this is a prime opportunity for this parent to receive full custody quickly....and  unless that parent has other negative issues in his life he will soon receive primary custody. If that nonoffending parent had been visiting the child through a prior court custody order he should have little to no need of attorney, social services will argue in his behalf and will place with him. In your case it sounds like the court needed to show that the father was fit to parent after there were some suspected concerns...I am presuming an awful lot here ....but I sure hear your love , concern and frustration in this matter..good luck.

God changes misery to value-act only in goodness-Evil never returns reward-never decide using feelings-Love in life is rare- appreciate it - Pain causes growth..share yours-give your life-so that you may receive life !!!!!

Hi,no under no circumstances has my son every had any kind of probs with drugs or alcohol my son works away and he has always taken care of his child never misses a visit always makes sure his child is well provided for ,,my grandaughter lives with her granddad as it was nearer to her school to be truthful my ex husband has brought the child up from birth but the mother denied this ,she only went to stay with the mother a few nights a week,even then my ex would bathe n dress her stay at the house for an hour or two then put the child safely to bed before  leaving ,,it was the mothers own mother that would ring my son at work and tell him that her daughter was taking drugs again ,my son would then leave work and drive hundreds of miles ,go to the house and lift the baby taking her back to her grandad,my son always thought he was giving the mother a "fright"threatening to take the child if she did not get clean ,which she promised a thousand times .it got to the stage my son could take no more worry for his child and did take her to live with him and his partner ,but she got a court order to get her back and my son knew nothing about the law and returned her ,but would not let her take the child until he'd been to court ,thats when he asked for the court to let the child stay with his father until something was sorted ,she is still taking drugs which she was doing all through her second pregnancy (heroin).my son wanted to  give her a chance to get clean and let the child go back ,but within 3 weeks she lapsed again but "it was only coke" as she says thats when my son decided to go for full custody himself ,he has a new partner (2 yrs)has bought a house and have a new baby .(4mths)the house has a bedroom for his child all fitted out for her  a school waiting for her ,she has made new friends , my sons partner is a wonderful girl very loving towards the child and treats her like her own ,  but at the same time asks the child to ring the mother  has put pictures of the mother in the childs bedroom and talks about the mother (Nicely )to the child they even buy presents for the child to take to the mother when she's been the her dads house .this is a heartbreaking situation we are all in .we do understand the mother loves the child but i think not enough to stay off drugs oh regarding calling the police my son did'nt want to frighten his child if they went to see the mother ,they would heve had to lift the child .theres a hearing on 2nd March then again on the 12th and the 13 th we are hoping a decision will be made on the 2nd .hope and pray that this will happen then .then maybe just maybe we will all be able to get a sleep something i have hardly done in over 4 yrs   Once again thank-you .


Who cares if your son scares his child by calling the police on the drug using caregiver...would the mother  be so merciful to him if the tables were turned anyway? Yet the mother is using DANGEROUS drugs and I am sure that the child has been thoroughly scared by her mother's drug influenced behavior in some manner, and probably several times, I'd bet lots of $$$$. I would subpoena the girl's mother , your ex-husband who cared for the grandchild so often, the hospital or a social service worker to testify about the newborn half-sib being born with drugs in the system and any involved treatment counselor.

I would also ask that any mental health records be submitted along with a criminal history background check on the girl.

The baby's grandmother should be ask many questions about who could assist your son with witnesses to prove up the case, there have probably been many counselors in this girl's life to show to the court her failure to progress in drug treatment. Show some dangerous stunts the mother pulled while using drugs....sleeping while kids were not being cared for......good luck!

God changes misery to value-act only in goodness-Evil never returns reward-never decide using feelings-Love in life is rare- appreciate it - Pain causes growth..share yours-give your life-so that you may receive life !!!!!

Hello Beth, Just thought i'd let you know what happened with the court case ,my son WOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!! We are all delighted at the outcome ,i cant stop smiling or crying lol it's such a relief the court went on and on last week ,my sons ex thought it would be a good idea to admit herself into rehab to avoid being questioned at court thinking if she was'nt there it would be delayed ,her lawyer did request this but it was refused after all she had 15mths to get clean .

Thank god for the wonderful lawyer my son got ,but the judge did take into account that my son  done most of the ground work (when he was representing himself ) the judge also praised my son and the family for not belittleing his ex in anyway ,everyone had kept to the point it was about the child and not the brake-up of the couple ,the judge also comented on his ex's reports along with her family's saying although her family tried to protect her they  should have been looking to protect the children. Her 1yr old child has now been placed on the At Risk List and will be looked into by the court when she leaves the rehab,she must continue to attend meetings to stay clean or the court will look into removing the 2nd child.

Regarding access to my grandchild the mother was awarded every 2nd Sat (supervised) my son has offered to take the child to the place where the mum lives once a month then my ex will take her to where my son lives (being 3hours drive).we will have to wait and see how this goes as she is prone to only keeping the child a couple of hours then rings to have her picked up,we're hoping this will not be the case here as the child really does need to have a relationship with her mum and little brother.The move will take place in 3 weeks time although she would like to go now lol she was so excited when she was told she was going to live at her daddy's house but it had to be explained that she would need to finish this term of school ,also  my son did'nt just want to throw her in at the deep-end so to speak ,her school has been informed and are going to be having a little leaving party ,her new school awaits her .At the moment my ex has a sticker chart in place so she can understand how long it is before she goes.

She rang me to tell me that she was going to daddy's to live (i think i told you i'm in Scotland and they live in England)she said she was telling me she's having a new rabbit going to be called Casper and i have to help clean the hutch lol i thought my heart was going to brake listening to the excitement of her and her daddy on the other end of the phone making plans . 

I hope any one in the same situation as my son was will never give up man or woman ,but it can happen for the father ,a lot of fathers dont even try thinking that they would never win ,well my sons living proof it can.

Icant thank you enough for ur help and advise Beth ,we did use it some of witch was too late but we took what we could use and you helped us a great deal ,and for that i thank you ,

"From the bottom of my heart"

I am one very very happy Granny and i love both my grandchildren "from the bottom of my heart" XXX

I am so happy for you all ... the Mom, if she loves her baby , is probably somewhat relieved somewhere inside too. I wish more of these relationships had a partner that was functional as is your son, most of the time one finds another of the same habit or caliber it seems.

I hope you can help the little darling become a child again. Kids that grow up with addicts have to take care of themselves and their siblings.. You may find her to be somewhat bossy , somewhat messy ( this because they are so used to fixing their own foods and putting their school outfits  together) and saying inappropriate words at times....

I am sure you've thought of everything!

I am very very happy for you

God changes misery to value-act only in goodness-Evil never returns reward-never decide using feelings-Love in life is rare- appreciate it - Pain causes growth..share yours-give your life-so that you may receive life !!!!!

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