What is cheating?

I know you are hurt, and hearing these answers will not make you feel any better because phone sex and chatting are both cheating mechanism.  Each have the potential to evolve into real-time affairs.  You already know what's going on.  Now it's up to you to determine what do you want to do, now that you know.  You two have been together for such a long time.  I suggest that you somehow manage by rebuilding trust and laying down a few laws again to voice your displeasure about the situation.  Here is a guideline to help you on your journey of forgiveness.  My regards.

I think that "cyber" cheating is even worse than physical-at least with an actual person, you know just what you're up against.  How do you try to save a relationship if you can't see what the competition is?

There is not simple answer for that question because it matters if you think cyber sex is cheating not anyone else.  Cheating is relative there is not just one answer or rule to cheating talk to your parnter and figure out what is cheating to both of you.  It should be the same for both of you what he can do you can do.

Hi,

I would like to shed light on that problem from a different angle:  The problem is that your husband, most probably, doesn't refer to it as cheating.....  He probably thinks that "nothing is wrong with a phone call"....  Obviousely you, correctly, think differently.  If that is the case than you have to discuss that matter with him.  Prepare the setting (you know what he likes), prepare what and how you are going to say..... start by saying that you love him and want your relations to flourish, and that something really bothers you.  Now tell him exactly what bothers you and why..... Tell him that any emotional involvement is cheating, and that it hurts you....  Tell him you set that meeting in order to sove that problem and not to agrgue.  Then listen carefully and actively to what he has to say.  If you do it smartly and sensitively you have good chances to solve that problem and it will even strengthen your relations.
Best regards,

yes and no the yes is cause he isnt confronting u about his fantasee or he is not asking u to full fill his fantasee. no because maybe your to modest to talk dirty to him  you know maybe your not freaky enough. see hes on the phone its a conversation so if likes to hear someone talk dirty to him then maybe u should and lets hope he doesnt like to hear a guys voice                                                      

Whenever you have to hide behind closed doors or lie to your significant other about what you are doing, then you know you are doing something that you you shouldn't be.  When you share intimate feelings, emotions or passion with someone other than your significant other, is that cheating?  I would think so.  Sorry.

Did he say, "Hun how do you feel about trying something different to maybe see if it is something we could maybe have fun with"? No matter if it is about watchig porn films, phone sex even, regardless what it may be. Each person is different & in long term relationships, boredom can happen with the best & most loyal people. That is not wrong to have happen & or for one to express to the one he/she is sharing life with.

The point is they believed enough in themself, their relationship, & their partner to even discuss the matter. I think should be looked at as that. Regardless of likes or dislikes at the very least it lets each know what the other is feeling & typically from there something can be resolved. If the partner just pushes away & has nothing but negitive feelings for that to even be brought, typically the one who is seeking something different, if they cannot even discuss the possibility with the one they share live with & trust, they feel rejected, feel it is or may be a one sided relationship, & are left to do for themself, for some to cheat to se if is what they really seek. That is sad, because it could have been prevented.

But no question, if one does any of what you mention alone without their partner or partners knowledge and ok, that is cheating, no matter how one spells it or defends it, it is cheating.

This leaves you to decide where to go from here.