Posted by Sarah 3 years ago In:

cheated, cheated on and lied to

Cheated on and lied to - What do I do?

My husband and I are now going through a very rough time. He had an affair in the beginning of the year while I was a couple of months pregnant. He lied to me about what really happened for 9 months. He promised me several times that he didn’t do anything sexual, just kissing and feeling breasts. Since pushing the subject on and off for the last 9 months, he finally broke down and told me that it was a full-out affair and he did do sexual things with one of the women (there were 2 of them). I am now pregnant again. He only told me the truth 4 days ago. He said he lied to me for so long because he didn’t want me to leave him. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about that one yet. He said he’d go to counseling if I wanted him to. I told him we should because it’s clear that we see the situation in two completely different ways. I’ve told him that I don’t want to do anything with him that he did with the other woman. I can’t have sex with him right now, or kiss him, or even hold his hand because it makes me think about what happened and what he did. I guess what I really need is some advice on how to clear my head in order to make a rational decision. I do love him, but I’m completely disgusted and grossed out by him right now and what he did. Yet, I’m in a position where I crave intimacy and sexual relations – just not from him right now. I'm just very confused right now. Even though it happened nearly a whole year ago, it feels like it just happened because he's lied to me about it for so long.

- Sarah

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Answers

love2loveu22 Answered:

I think you need to speak with your own personal therapist to work through some of the things you are feeling. Marriage counseling is also a good idea, but only after you speak with a private therapist to get your own personal feelings worked out. Good luck.