You can always ask if they know what hospice is: palliative care at home, pain management. You can ask if they would like hospice if they are diagnosed with a terminal illness. You can ask in advance of need to see if they are interested. You can ask after they have been diagnosed. They should know that they can refuse life-saving treatment like CPR or surgery or chemotherapy, especially if that would only prolong dying. They should know that if they start to recover that they can go off of hospice care.
Human beings know when the end of life is near: it is undeniable. We also know that the end of life is natural, and necessary. I, for one, do not wish to occupy this deteriorating body forever.
The Hospice Movement is intended to take the sting out of dying and give us a good death. Hospice workers, usually ordained ministers with specific hospice training and physical therapists, will come to your home to show you ways to reduce the pain of dying, prepare for the end of mortality, and enter the next phase of existence.
It is compassion itself. Denial of the inevitable is no answer nor is denial of the spiritual side of life an answer. Some people must reach this terminal juncture before it finally soaks in.
As we fight that final battle with pain we find that the end of mortality is not really an end: it is the end of a very short period between vast expanses of eternity.
Dealing with physical pain in a physical body is one burden we need not bear alone, but the mental anguish of a life poorly lived is one that we most assuredly shall bear alone.
If your life is full of wrongs done others, it is wisdom that you try to reconcile with them before the inevitable occurs. You will not get another chance at it.
You look them strait in the eye and tell them that they are going to die, and that you don't want them dying here, creeping up the place.
As it tends to lower the resale value of the house
You should decide which Hospice you are going to use, then ask them for guidance in how to speak with your parent. All of them have councilors for this very hard situation. Good luck!
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