My boyfriend's ex won't go away!

Thanks!  I feel like I'm the crazy one but you said everything that I have talked to him about, especially the respect part, and exactly how I feel--who cares how she is doing.  He said he will not delete her number or block her number from his phone.  He said that is ridiculous or something along those lines.  I really appreciate you answering my question!  Any other tips you might have I do appreciate!

Daphne-

This is not  your problem in the sense that you cannot solve it. It is your BF's problem and it is causing a problem for the two of you.

I can block incoming calls on my cell phone. Thank you, AT&T. Does he have this same capability. He needs to exercise it. He needs to tell her that she needs to stop calling. The ball is in his court. He needs to terminate her continuing contact and simply endure the drama. (it's probably one of those tragic Greek dramas!)

You need to tell him that her actions are making you quite uncomfortable, angry, etc, and that you expect him to deal with her. He needs to definitively sever all contact.

I just looked back at your question. This is neither here nor there, but she may be doing this simply to manipulate her new BF. This doesn't change any of my advice. 

JayR 

Hi Daphne,
Strawberry gave you an excellent answer (gave 2 thumbs up).  I would like to add several comments: Your should appreciate that your boyfriend is open & honest with you and hides nothing from you.  That is a very imortant point.  You should ask your boyfriend to tell his ex to stop contacting him (he should simply tell her that he has a girlfriend and that hurts her and damages his new relations).  He has to promise you not to reply if she contacts him (and sure not initiate any contact in any way).
If it doesn't help, you have 2 options: changing the phone number or you (with your boyfriend's permision) have a talk with her (don't do it behind his back !!!).  I have that feeling that your boyfriend is a honest guy that you can trust.... together you should be able to work out a plan to overcome that problem....
Best regards,

His honesty is wonderful and all , BUT he apparently is taking her calls and responding to her IM , ect .   And this is causing problems in yours and his relationship .  SO , if he truly wants no contact wiith her then he needs to stop all correspondence with her .   Few times of him not taking her calls or not responding to her IM , should take care of HIS problem . It is not yours and I do not think you should say anything to her , it is up to your BF to end this with her not you . And if he cares for you then he will . 

Daphne,

    Tell your boyfriend to change his phone number so she won't be able to contact him.

Hi JayR,

Thank you for your response.  Everything you and Strawberry have suggested I have done.  And he has told her not to contact that he is happy, etc.  And she now only contacts once a month(not 100% certain but it has definitely lessened).  I am hoping that this was the end of it but every time I think she is finally out of the picture completely, she contacts him.  This past week was the most recent contact about the surgery.  Needless to say, I turn into a child and won't comment when he tells me she contacted him, mainly because I have already expressed my frustrations and anger and hurt, etc. but it doesn't change anything.  He will then question if I want him to tell me and of course I do appreciate it honesty, which I tell him but in the same sense it is so frustrating! I feel like I am talking to a wall when it comes to this topic.  He sent me a copy of the email he sent to her saying to not contact but she seems to find some type of tragedy to contact him. 

Hello there,

One thing you should really o is talk to the girl -- or ex.

You should really talk to her about why shese contacting your man.and why if shese already have a boyfreind of her own.tell her to bug off!

Daphne--- I went through the same thing. I had the talk with the  woman; and it turned against me. She accused me of being insecure & jealous. Then she laughed in my face.  I did it behind my guy's back, though. WHY? Cuz  it didn't make sense to me---why is  she calling for nonsense after he told her not to? I thought she was insane; in fact, I told her SHE was insecure & jealous  by not moving on. Then she said she had a boyfriend--I asked how HE felt about the every other day/night calls she made to her ex(my boyfriend). She answered by raising her voice & saying that she knew my boyfriend before  he knew me, & before she knew her new boyfriend; so it doesn't matter what we think/feel! I felt my anger swell up; soooo...I ended the conversation by warning her to knock it off cuz now it's not about the boyfriends--it's about the outright disrespect  she just  shown me!! She called my boyfriend crying about how I harrassed her, & blah,blah, blah! He got mad at me, then we fought. I asked him why would he  believe her over me! The next day things cooled down. After about a month, he was leaving the room when she called, going for walks to make a call..very suspicious behavior. Bear in mind, Daphne, that he said exactly the same things to me that your boyfriend is saying to you. He even spoke to her on the phone in front of me while making "cuckoo" circles/signs   about her while she was  telling him her drama. he even yelled at her passing his house in front of me...OK? Then one day he went to her house cuz her "new boyfriend" was beating her he said. I said"what are you a marriage counselor??" There's more, but he ended up seeing/sleeping with her again..HIS MOTHER TOLD ME..SHE HATES THAT WOMAN & felt so mad at him & torn about me being lied to & "B.S.'d"  for about 8 months!!! What's my point???DO NOT CONTACT HER..DO NOT SHOW YOUR FRUSTRATION TO HIM ANYMORE..it only feeds his thrill he gets that some men get when or more females think he's a commodity. Tell him  with eye to eye contact--no emotion(anger, frustration, sadness)--that there are certain boundaries within  certain relationships. That girl is crossing the boundary. Tell him you are  looking at it LOGICALLY, NOT EMOTIONALLY- and, LOGICALLY speaking, she is either INSANE & boiling rabbits at home(Fatal attraction), OR he is a LIAR & giving her the green light to call ANYTIME--Another thing I've experienced is that when my boyfriend started to blow her off, she got jealous & purposely called when she knew he was with me...& she recently told me that she did that just to "SHOW" me something...and she was correct...she showed me the truth...but I believed HIM..until his MoM told me. So keep that in mind. Again..look him in the eye & tell him your logical thinking..THEN FOLLOW BY SAYING it's a matter of respect, so when he has  the heart/courage to totally cut her off, then he can  dial your number again. EMPHASIZE that you are not jealous...just INSULTED that if what he says is TRUE(drama queen,weirdo,etc)...then why is a good & intelligent man like him dealing with her? It makes NO SENSE...if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck...IT'S A DUCK, GIRL!! I'm 52 years old & I just learned this NOW!! So don't feel bad...it's better you walk away or, if not, BE ALOOF, than getting a surprise you don't ever want to get. PLEASE!! Let him MISS  YOU..NOT HER!! God Bless, Dear!! Miss Mary