I met a guy online and we like each other a lot and we're supposed to meet soon. He's 24 and I'm 21. He told me he has bipolar disorder (was diagnosed 2 years ago) and I feel it would be so unfair if I leave him for this reason. He also told me that psychiatrists told him steps to follow so he can adjust when he experiences days of depression. However, he finds it hard to take those steps, but he keeps on trying. I read some about this illness on Wikipedia. In case that we meet and want to go on in our relationship, I wonder if it would be wise or not to marry him. Will we be able to have a normal life? I also read that it's a genetic disorder, which scares me because I will like to have children of my own and I want them to be normal! I have one last question that doesn't have to do with bipolar disorder. He's thinks very well and deeply which I like and respect but usually lets his emotions lead, while I let my mind lead. Will that be a big deal in our life together? Thanks
Here's my advice: don't meet him. If you meet him and like him, you are going to find yourself entering into a complex universe not of your own making. My ex-husband, and his mother are bipolar. Although I sensed something amiss when I first met him, and later her, I had no idea what kind of emotional rollercoaster ride I was getting on. I looked the other way because I didn't know any better. The person who loves a bipolar person often becomes a victim of the person with the illiness. The genetic component is VERY real. My son has this illness, as well. I thought nature versus nurture could be overcome with a heathy environment. However, my experience has proved otherwise. Additionally, it appears my daughter is attracted to men with many of these same tendencies. It's ironic because she is consciously aware, and often angry, at the symptoms because of her father and brother. Nonetheless, she has entered relationships, with blinders on, that mimic the problems she grew up with. I'm hoping something will happen that will give her a reality check. In the interim, I am offering you a crucial reality check: you cannot save him or cure him. Be grateful he told you about his problem early. Use the information to cut your losses and move on.
The only thing I can say, is be careful.
While it may not be fair to leave him because he's a diagnosed bipolar, it's also not fair not to leave him for the same reason.
Be true to your feelings, and be realistic.
There is more than "love" involved here.
Dont be too afraid. There are alot of different treatments for bipolar disorder. Alot of doctors try to get their patients to do everything they can before they start them on any kind of medications. Usually the medication will equal out the chemical imbalance and make them more stable on a day to day basis. Give him a chance to see what treatment will work best for him, them make any major decisions after.
MomWithAdvice, I wanted to reply you on the day you posted your answer to my question but I've been getting an error page and couldn't type anything. I wanted to tell you that I had already taken my decision and your answer made me sure I chose the right thing. Thank you so much.
Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:
Other people asked questions on various topics, and are still waiting for answer. Would be great if you can take a sec and answer them