THE FAN METHOD:
Have a ceiling fan? get some strechy cord and tie to end of your penis, and tie other end to that ceiling fan you sleep under.
keep shortening the cord .. make it stretch more each week.
Just ask others in your house not to turn on the ceiling fan while you are in the bed after that. You don't want peperoni slices or to be hung by your penis.
On slim chance you were serious, see a doctor about it. And I assume it does gets hard (erection), because its suppose to be short when it is not! There actually is such a thing a "micro penis" (1 in 200 males I have heard, not sure) and you should see a doctor if you are serious with that problem.
Thanks, Rob. You just made me spray coffee all over my computer and squirt it out my nose. sigh.