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How do adult alcoholics and drug addicts feel ..

How do adult alcoholics and drug addicts feel about what they do to others, especally their children and other family members?

E me at purplesky53@aol.com

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From what I've seen, alcoholics and addicts who are actively using don't think at all about what their addiction does to their children and other family members.

Actively using abusers think of themselves and their needs, only.

That's why there are organizations which are specifically geared towards friends and family members of alcoholics and other substance abusers. If you are the child or family member of a substance abuser, I highly recommend you look into a group where you can get support and understanding from people who know what it is to be in your shoes.

Here are some links: www.alanon.org, www.naranon.com

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ YeddaHeads

Most carry a huge load of guilt about it.  It's part of the disease.

If I can't always dazzle 'em with brilliance, I'll try baffling 'em with BS. Band of None

Addiction is a disease and a largely misunderstood disease at that.  Most addicts do think about what a mess they have made of their lives and relationships and as Norm said, carry a huge amount of guilt.  They use again to cover that pain and a vicious cycle begins...

Drug and alcohol use starts for any number of reasons; peer pressure, lack of self esteem, family problems, etc.  There is no doubt about some of the things that cause an individual to begin using/ abusing drugs/alcohol, just as there is no doubt that addiction itself often develops from deep pain.  Addicts use to cover the pain, have guilt about their use and the damage caused by it, and then use to cover the guilt. Unless they can get to the root of their pain, it is very hard for them to break the cycle.

If you are a family member who is suffering and being held emotionally hostage by a loved ones drug and/or alcohol use, I recommend the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie.  

It is written in layman's terms and will not only help you to understand the addict, it will help you to come to terms with the addiction and any role you may have in it.  It will also help you learn to lovingly detach from the situation so that you may lead a normal life in spite of what the addict is doing, which may presently be preventing you and other family members from living life to its fullest. 

Best wishes,


One day I said, 'I will go out & look for my enemies' and on that day I found no friends. The next day I said, 'I will go out & look for my friends' & on that day I found no enemies. ~YeddaHeads~

I can only go by my father, who was a life long alcoholic. He felt terrible about it. But he literally couldn't help himself. He tried AA and all that, but he always fell back into the drinking habits until it eventually killed him.

If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then that makes me a burning truck filled with TNT hurtling through a rocket fuel depot.

You have to understand that adults who are alcoholics and drug addicts have their own priorities: Priority 1 = The "bottle" or the drugs.  Priority 2 (and far after priority 1) is ALL hte rest (including family).  They do mind what they do to their families but they are too weak (in terms of character) to resist the "need" for alcohol / drugs.   Addiction is a mental disease that not too many understand it and much fewer know how to treat it. 

Love is the battery of life....

I am in recovery right now.  I resent the people who think or say that we don't care about what our families go thru.  Step in my shoes than tell me I don't care.  Do you know how hard it is when you want to take your kids out for the day, buy your too sick and can't find a fix.  I cried many nights for guilt and still because the times I missed because I either don't remember cause I was high or missing in action.

I chose to go on methadone, because it works best for me.  I now live at home with my Mom and kids, because I have been off heroin for 5 years and cocaine for 2.  It was very hard and it took a long time, but I made it back, however I still have dreams of guilt that will never go away.  They haunt me constantly.

marystafford55@yahoo.com  if you want to talk.




Once a person is addicted the drug/alcohol/chemical is in control. They're not in control the chemical is. They only care about how they can continue to get the drug or alcohol and where they'll get it from.  They will lie, cheat, steal, prostitute themselves to get the drug/alcohol.


They aren't the person they are when not addicted. The more you learn about addiction/alcoholism the more you'll be able to help this person to get out of the trap of addiction/alcoholism. Many addicts commit suicide because their lives become so DESOLATE. 

Call your local doctor or hospital and get into a program so that you can learn how to help get this person OUT of using.


Good Luck!!






Recovery is possible don't give up hope. Get help and know your enemy, Addiction!

They die inside and then have to medicate do not bring logic to the table this is a metal form of cancer that if not corrected will cause death

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