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How to address a baptist church?

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I never go in one.

With a bullhorn, while waring a clown costume, and great big strap on bildo.

Hay. You think I'm crazy? You should hear the voices in my head. Those people have issues.

The baptists were the biggest members of the KKK it might be just as politically correct to just address them as racists. But theres a lot of black baptists too they address each other a lot like the mormons do - as brother and sister.


The mormons were never in the KKK, they just don't allow blacks in the preisthood of their protestant temple.

Hi church, how ya doin'?

I knew a guy that told me he had sex with his sister when he was drunk. It sure was a good way to shut him up bringing it up when he was sober.

Begin by turning your back to the congregation, then touch your toes and let rip with a huge rippling fart.

If you can add a little intonation and vibrato during the process, it will be more appreciated. 

However, be careful not to 'follow through'...  This is regarded as an insult and you may find you are no longer asked to address that particular congrgation ever again.

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