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Posted by Susan Jones 11 months ago In:

Susan Jones
Susan Jones Asked:

For the best part of 7 months I have not been able ...

For the best part of 7 months I have not been able to forget about my surgeon. After a recent consultation with him there was an apparent strong attraction between us, but it seemed inappropriate to tell him of my feelings. Instead I left with a professional handshake. The next day I sobbed my heart out and still can't get him off my mind. What should I do? He's the only expert in the area who can deal with my medical problem.

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Susan Jones
Susan Jones Answered:

Hi Susan - I absolutely understand how you feel.  Very often we forget how natural it is to have feelings for patients and doctors.  What we have to be careful of is the tendency to allow them to trip over the professional boundary.  You were very brave to keep your feelings from this surgeon - had you told him you might  found yourself feeling foolish at his or her lack of response, worse still lost his medical advice and care altogether because it is unethical for patients and doctors to have intimate relationships.

Perhaps you need to be thinking about what is going on in your life at the moment.  Are you busy, do you have friends to talk to - is your social life active and supporting?   If not, perhaps it's time to make those changes that will give you a purpose in life and empower you to realise that there are many more fish in the sea waiting for you.

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P. McMakin
P. McMakin Answered:

Susan, you asked this question and then answered yourself as though you were a separate person. I am glad to see that you've given yourself good advice but concerned at your apparent inability to recognize that you're having a public conversation with yourself.

In addition to the other advice you offered yourself, perhaps you should suggest a few sessions with a mental health professional. Best wishes for your improved health and rapid recovery.

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