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Posted by Nancy 4 years ago In:

Nancy
Nancy Asked:

Our 4 Year Old Grandson's Behavior is 'OUT OF OUR CONTROL'!!

Hello~

Do you have any words of wisdom that could help us with our 4 year old grandson's demanding control in wanting his way, his outrageous temper and an unnatural deep anger that are all problems causing disharmony in their home?  He is very disrespectful, not only to his parents and family, but to everyone else.  He can be such a sweet and loving little boy and we do so love him with all our hearts ~ We just want to do anything we can to help him and their family have a happy home and especially a more peaceful one.
Thank you so very much for listening.  I'll appreciate any input at all!Smile
Nanny


 

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kpopp
kpopp Answered:

I will assume that your grandson lives with his parents and that his poor behavior occurs when his parents bring him for a visit. This of course presents a dilemma for it is the parent's responsibility to control their son's behavior. All you can do is to suggest to the parents that your grandson's behavior places a strain on you. If your daughter (or whatever parent is present) should then ask you why, you can explain that you are worried about your grandson's behavior because he will have a difficult time getting along with people and that worries you. Of course, the obvious way to control such behavior is to insist on "time out!" This means that the boy should be removed from the situation - e.g. put into another room with the door closed - giving him time to settle down. I wish you a lot of luck. Also check out the book recommendation on my website and read Chapter 12 on "How to Raise a CHild."

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jkgrandma
jkgrandma Answered:

Consider also that most 4-year olds have a tendency to such behavior, just perhaps not as extreme. It is possible that he initially enjoyed the reaction he got and this is now feeding the monster, so to speak, as he continues to behave badly in order to receive what he wants which, in turn, encourages him to behave badly (and so on). I think kpopp had some good suggestions for you but I would also suggest you check out Dr. John Rosemond's parenting advice (you can find links to his columns online). I am also a grandma and I really like his down-to-earth, no nonsense approach, instead of the saccharine touchy-feely stuff that is so ubiquitous nowadays.

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ YeddaHeads
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